It’s lunchtime, and my stomach is growling. Yet, I’m afraid to eat.
I’ve been having such a hard time lately. I’ll do well for one meal, and then at the next meal all hell breaks loose, like there is not enough food in all the world to fill the vast emptiness that is my stomach. Ironic, that, since I’m usually not even hungry. I engage in “preventative eating,” meaning that I don’t want to get hungry, or think I might be getting hungry sometime soon, so I eat before I ever actually get to the point of hungry. I’m really trying to work on that.
So this morning, I was hungry a few minutes after I got up, which is a good thing. I had a bowl of cereal with almond milk, plus one and a half cups of coffee. And now I’m hungry again, but I don’t want to eat.
Well, I do want to eat, and that is exactly the problem. I feel like if I go into the kitchen with the intention of eating food, I will inhale much more food than I actually need.
For today, my solution is going to be to open my Eat Clean Diet book and pick a meal, and then eat exactly that. That way I don’t have to think about it, I don’t have to make a decision while food is staring me in the face.
That will work for now, but there’s still the bigger issue: I don’t trust myself around food. How do I get to the point where I do?
