Every Sunday morning I post one of my older posts, mostly for myself. Seeing as how I’m still doing the same mental work, a lot of them are just as relevant today as they were when I wrote them. This is not to excuse myself from writing a post for the day, but simply a chance to review the lessons I have learned, and perhaps still need to work on. Perhaps you will find something here as well.
I love to read self-help books. They’ve been an obsession of mine since I was a teenager. This particular book, (aff) by Martha Beck, I picked up hoping for help in the vocational arena, and even though I haven’t yet found my perfect career, the book has helped me a bit with my diet.
In the book, Beck talks about the countermands that block us from meeting our goals. A countermand is, very simply, any time we say, “Yeah, but …”
Boy, I do a lot of that.
Another way to phrase is is, “I could be/do/have X, but Y,” such as, “I could lose weight, but I can’t stick to a diet.”
Beck describes a “reality check” process you go through to battle and break down the countermands. I won’t go through the whole thing, but there was one piece that really struck me. Basically, she says that the problem (Y) isn’t really the problem–your beliefs are the problem.
I’m very mind-over-matter, so that makes a lot of sense to me. Beck goes on to ask what you would do if the problem wasn’t a problem. You challenge your beliefs.
Going back to my, ahem, example, the problem is, “I can’t stick to a diet.” Well, what if it wasn’t a problem? What if I was very, very good at sticking to diets? What if it was easy for me to stick to a diet?
Furthermore, what if the diet isn’t the problem at all? What if sticking to a diet doesn’t even matter?
The problem is that I believe that I cannot stick to a diet. In essence, since I don’t believe I can do it, I don’t let myself do it, thereby proving myself right.
But what happens when I believe I can? What would I do differently? Would I embark on a very strict eating regimen? Would I stop worrying about my diet altogether? Would I lose weight quickly and easily, once and for all?
That line of questioning, those challenges to my beliefs, actually helped me stick to my diet–very easily, I might add–for the past few days.
What other countermands do you give yourself? What would happen if you turned them all on their heads? Here are some of the ones that go through my head, and I’m guessing they’re fairly common among those of us who want to lose weight:
I would lose weight, but it’s hard.
I would be fit and trim, but I’ll always have saggy skin.
I would exercise, but it’s no fun/it’s hard.
I would exercise, but I don’t like to sweat.
I would eat healthy, but it doesn’t taste good.
B.S. All of it.
Losing weight is not hard. Calories in versus calories out, that’s easy. It’s my beliefs that make it hard.
Better to be fit and trim with saggy skin than unhealthy and overweight with rolls of fat.
Exercise is fun. I enjoy going to the gym, and running, and lifting weights, and yoga, and all sorts of physical activities.
I like to sweat, because I know that is calories I’m burning, and it feels good to work and cleanse my body.
Plenty of healthy foods taste good, and I love to experiment with new recipes.
Those are my challenging responses to my countermands. Yours may be different. The content isn’t the point, the questioning is.
Question all of your countermands, each of your excuses, and figure out how they’re wrong (because they are). Don’t believe a word.
Teach yourself to believe in something else, something healthy–YOU.
(aff), and I’ve been reading through it over the past few days. Just now I was reading as I walked on the treadmill, and she talked about how, in the beginning, your body might need to “vent” about how poorly it’s been treated.
, ok? It’s pretty interesting.)
(aff), which I also quote regularly.
